Waiting for Louie

This week started my time off waiting for this baby to come. It has been a welcome relief to take a deep breath and just focus on being a mom to the sweetest toddler girl I know and finish growing this little boy. I have been so much more tired and pained this pregnancy, and I emphasize the pained part when thinking of the last few weeks.

In reality - I have very little to complain about. I am very healthy, the baby is healthy, and many more women have far more difficult pregnancies. What I do know is that it was NOT this hard with Noelle. She just was kinder to her mother - except when it came time to actually come out of her mother. Louie is a mover and a shaker and hardly ever seems to stop poking and prodding me. Every now and then he moves in such a way that prompts me to cry out "OUCH!" Sleep is interrupted and never seems to be enough.

Noelle keeps me very very active, which I think also contributes to my tiredness and general lack of comfort. When I was pregnant with Noelle I basically had a desk job and light housework for a life, and right now sitting down is just not something I get to enjoy for the majority of any given day.

That being said - I do like to think that her activity level is helping me progress and hopefully will mean an early arrival for Louie. Two weeks ago I was in no way progressed at all. Last week at the doctor I was 1cm and 25% effaced. This week at the doctor I was just shy of 3cm and 50% effaced. I know that I could walk around with those numbers for weeks on end and he could still come out past his due date - but it is highly encouraging to me that I have progressed that far...without noticing a single contraction or even a braxton hicks contraction.

The fun part of going to the doctor today was getting to take Noelle with us. I haven't taken her to a single appointment, but today just felt like a good visit for her to come along, especially since Josh was coming with me too. She was eager to experience the doctor and was asking me every couple of minutes if it was our turn to see the doctor. She was fascinated with going to the bathroom with me and wanted to pee in a cup too (very funny)...and was glad my arm was ok after getting my blood pressure checked. She was also very convinced that I needed to lay down on the table while I waited for the doctor.  And she especially loved hearing baby brother's heart beat - her wonder and excitement was enjoyed even by the doctor!

She gave me two thumbs up for a successful visit, which I agreed after hearing how far along I was, and she happily took 3 stickers and a lollipop for being such a great helper during the appointment.

Next week my appointment is on the 15th - and that was Noelle's actual due date 3 years ago. I've always said that it would be very funny to me if Louie came on his sister's due date, (which would be 12 days early) and Noelle ended up having a birthdate of Louie's due date. Only time will tell!!

All I have is my hopes, my mother's instinct, and the fact that I felt compelled to nearly finish packing our hospital bags today...

What's in a Name

The wait is OVER!

The name of our son is....

Louis Gabriel Watkins

We will be calling him "Louie" for as long as he will let us :)

...and let me just say that when we name a child in this household, it is no small feat.

The naming process for both our children have had similarities and huge differences, but both have been a labor of love, thought, and prayer.

Josh and I believe that a name holds weight, and that the person we are getting the privilege of raising has a name that is just right and will suit them perfectly.

Let me start by saying that Josh and I have only ever really agreed on 2 full names. Ever. In the history of knowing each other. Those are obviously the ones of our children.

Sit back and get a cup of coffee or something because I'm starting at the beginning of the naming journey for our son.

It was sometime in early 2014...maybe Spring, tops. Josh and I had been talking and thinking about when we might try for a second child. At one of those conversations names came up and that is not a light subject as we don't have much crossover of names we both love. But out of the blue I asked Josh what he thought of the name Louis for a boy, and calling him Louie. His response was something to the effect of - "I actually like that."

In that moment of his response I remember 2 things very clearly...#1 - "I'm shocked he likes it" and #2 - "Well obviously if we have another child it will be a boy because we have never been so much on the same page for a name since Noelle."

So fast forward to actually being pregnant in the fall. We didn't talk names for a while. To me, it is not much worth it when I'm not sure if it is a boy or a girl. It takes enough work to deal with one gender of names, let alone two.  By late October I had a strong sense it was a boy, though my mother insisted I was having another girl (HA).

Right around Thanksgiving my mom had a dream that she told me about. She told me she was with me in her house, and suddenly her parents walked through the door. They looked to be in their 40's and they were so happy - excited even. She was so glad to have had the dream because she hadn't dreamt about them in a very long time (Grammy died in 2008, and Poppy died in 1985). She told me about the dream because she felt it was God's way of telling her that everything was going to be ok for Josh and I (as Josh had just lost his job at the time). I still loved giving her a hard time that I thought the baby was a boy, so I told her, "What if they were so happy because the baby is a boy, and they never got to have any boys?" I also knew, but did not say to her, that if it WAS a boy it was probably going to be named Louis, which was my grandfather's name. She didn't think my interpretation was very amusing as she was still convinced it was a girl.

So then finally on December 11, we went to find out what our little bundle of joy was, and of course you should always trust the mother's intuition :)

A week or two later I was just reading something in my bible, and God pressed upon my heart so clearly that our son's name was Louis. From then on it was just a done deal in my heart. I approached Josh a couple days later with that information and he really just agreed with me, but didn't want to make a FULL decision until baby brother also had a middle name.

And for as easy as the first name was...oh the middle name. I was just eager to land it and announce the whole thing because I was tired of dodging questions from friends and family alike on what we were naming this kiddo.

Here was our dilemma...Louis means "renowned warrior" - a fabulous meaning for a boy. But at the same time, we wanted the middle name to complement such a strong first name. We wanted a softness to it, and a name that would also point back to God.

I went through so many biblical names. I would read them off, give meanings, look for a clue to anything that would seem to entice Josh.

Nothing.

Then one saturday we had an honest middle name discussion at random. And Josh said he wanted something that was along the lines of "God strengthens" - so the idea would be that our son would be a great warrior, but one that relied on the strength of God. I looked at him and said, "That's essentially what Gabriel means."

**Please note that I had given him the name Gabriel as a middle name option several times at this point.

He fought me on it for a minute, because his brother's name is Gabriel, and his brother has a tattoo that says "messenger" and he thought that was the name's meaning. I corrected him (without having to look it up, because I am that much of a naming nerd) and said Gabe probably chose that because Gabriel is very much God's messenger in the bible...however, that is NOT what the name means. Josh then googled and confirmed the meaning as "God is my strength."

The finalization began to take place...Josh loves his brother and loved the idea of getting to use his name as a middle name.  We both loved the idea of being able to use 2 family names in the process.

Louis is special certainly because of my grandfather. He died when I was just 2 years old, and I was the last grandchild he met. He and I also bore a resemblance to each other when we were babies...so much so that at one point he said to my family, "OK, I can die now. One of them looks like me." They got mad at him for saying that, but then it actually happened and it just seemed to take on a different meaning.

Louis & Florence D'Ambrosio

Though I have no memories of my own of Poppy, I have only ever heard wonderful things about him. He was the first born of 4 sons of the D'Ambrosio family (and according to my mom he was my great grandmother's favorite son). All of the brothers were the first generation born in America. He had to learn english in school because only Italian was spoken in the home. He dropped out of high school six months shy of graduating, but he was very hard working and provided as good a life as he could for his wife and three daughters. He served as an Italian interpreter during World War II, but was never sent overseas to fight, as he became 18 towards the end of the war. He was extremely funny and loved to have a good time. At one point he got to open his own Italian delicatessen and it was in that little deli that my mom and dad met. It is actually also thanks to my grandfather that my parents ever went on their first date.

My mom was 16 and had a big crush on my dad who was 20 (yikes, I know - Noelle would NOT have my permission). However, it was the 70's and times were different! Anyway, Poppy knew my mom had a crush on my dad and he asked my dad to take my mom to a Mets game because he had a meeting and couldn't take her. Mom was a little mad at first, but got over it enough to actually go on the date. The rest they say is history, as my mom and dad married 5 years later. So would I be here if Lou D'Ambrosio hadn't interfered with his daughter's dating life? Seems like I wouldn't!

Poppy died all too soon at the young age of 59 from a heart attack. I am sorry I never got to really know him, but part of me feels like I did because of all the fond memories that my family has shared about him over the years.

So I had the example of my grandfather, and then I read the book "Unbroken" which is a biography about Louis Zamperini. The movie came out this past December too, but please, skip the movie and go straight for the book. Zamperini was most definitely a warrior, and he survived things that you and I couldn't even begin to imagine over the course of WWII. Despite his seemingly "invincible" nature, he was brought to his knees after the war and gave his life to Christ at a Billy Graham event in the 50's. His story was so inspiring and it truly anchored in the name and every thought I had behind its meaning.

I am also very excited about Gabriel. I love my brother in law and have always loved the name Gabriel. For some reason, I also have always thought the angel Gabriel in the bible had the best jobs to go do. Seriously, even when I was a kid I thought that. Here's a couple fun facts about Gabriel...

1. Gabriel is mentioned in the Old and New Testaments. He’s known for bearing good news of Jesus’ coming birth, but his first biblical appearance is in Daniel when he is told to explain a vision to the prophet.
2. Gabriel stands in the presence of God. This is how he describes himself to Zacharias, the father of John the Baptist. The Greek word for “stands” is paristánō, which means to wait before a superior. The Septuagint uses this word to describe how Joshua served Moses. 
3. Gabriel is one of only two angels explicitly named in the Protestant Bible.
4. Gabriel anticipates Jesus. Gabriel relays a prophecy concerning “Messiah the Prince” to Daniel. He tells Zacharias that John the Baptist will be a forerunner before the Lord. And most famously, he tells Mary that her son will be called “the Son of the Most High.” Here's the source where I found these fun facts...

I told you this was going to be a long blog post! If nothing else it was just so important for me to get it all out for my own little Louie. I look forward to meeting him and seeing just who he will be, and I hope he will understand how much thought and prayer went into his name.

28 Week Comparison

I write this as I am rounding the corner to 30 weeks, but luckily I did remember to have Josh take a 28 week picture so we could have a true comparison. And the results...

28 weeks - taken on 3/5/15

28 weeks - sometime in February 2012

I won't lie. The belly looks-a-bigger. But honestly, I don't think much else looks all that bigger from this angle! So that's encouraging to me at least.

I actually missed my original 28 week appointment thanks to Winter Storm Thor who dropped an amazing 17 inches of snow in Lexington. There was no way to get out of the house in our sedan to get to the appointment, but it didn't matter because the doctor's office ended up closing for the day.

I was highly annoyed because I H-A-T-E the glucose test and was not looking forward to it. I had waited and waited for March 5 to come and go so I could move on with my life. Sadly It had to be rescheduled for the following Monday.

But just like last time, I sucked down that orange drink like a champ (I highly recommend using a straw to anyone pregnant out there who has the test coming up) and passed with flying colors. And also the same as with Noelle, I am slightly anemic, so I have to add in some iron supplements.

I worked up the courage to ask my doctor at the appointment how much difference my weight was at this point in the pregnancy than it was at the same point with Noelle. He looked at me and said, "Do you really want to know?"

Even with him prefacing with that question, I wanted to know.

Now, let me just say, that after I had Noelle I knew I weighed less than my pre-pregnancy weight (cue the millions of women hating me everywhere) - but I wasn't sure HOW much less I weighed.  I also knew that I had somehow overnight gotten ALL of that back in the first trimester with this pregnancy. I attribute that mostly to my chest to be honest. It's like the girls know what to do and literally I was back in my huge pregnancy bras in a matter of a few short weeks after discovering I was pregnant.

Anyway, I digress...the real numbers: I started this pregnancy 7 pounds lighter than where I started with Noelle. That was more than I thought! But at the 28 week mark, I was 5 pounds ahead of where I was with my weight with Noelle. So grand total I have actually gained 12 more pounds than I did with Noelle already....however, I am choosing NOT to count the 7, because I know exactly where that came from and I know exactly where it is going to go after 4-6 months of breastfeeding.  So 5 isn't that bad, and my doctor obviously has no concerns and wouldn't have said a thing if I hadn't brought it up.  Even so, he did recommend I be a bit more mindful this month, since I had "such a strong month" last month :)

I'm just telling you, boys are different! I've been more hungry with this kid. I honestly didn't understand the constant hunger pregnancy thing when I had Noelle, and I am not exactly constantly hungry now, but I definitely feel hungry more often than not.

What matters most is that I have a healthy baby boy growing away and for that I am willing to gain however much weight he needs to thrive!

It feels like we are in the home stretch. I know 10 weeks can still seem like a long time, but to me it feels very very short!

Planning To Look Back

I was playing with Noelle with the TV on in the background at some point this week and there was a talk show on where the host asked their guest "If you could UN-invent one thing, what would it be?"

It was such an interesting question to me, and honestly the first thing I thought of was my cell phone. Don't get me wrong, I love all the conveniences and modern awesomeness of my iPhone 6...but sometimes I just want to throw it away. 

It brought up an interesting conversation with Josh because we have also been re-watching tons of Friends episodes (thank you Netflix!) recently. There was the episode where Chandler is supposed to propose to Monica but gets delayed, and everyone walks in and thinks it has happened, but of course it hasn't and he is trying to get them to shut up and not ruin the surprise that is coming later. Josh made the interesting point that Chandler couldn't just send them all a group text to keep quiet and that the plan had changed. And then he had the interesting comment of, "You know, maybe it really isn't all that important to update everyone all at the same time and make sure they get the message." 

I know there are lots of conversations and debates about the "digital" age we live in, but watching Friends again makes you miss some of the simpleness we had just a few short years ago. Am I the only one that can get a little nostalgic for a simpler time?

That being said, don't worry - I'm not about to go live in the wilderness without power or anything like that. I am just going to try and make a concerted effort to not let the phone rule me, but to rule my phone.  The one thing I am so grateful for is that I have this device that seems to track the most amazing moments of my little girl and soon to be little boy...that alone makes it not worth throwing away!

I love being able to look back on my instagrams and see a year at a glance and watch all the milestones Noelle has crossed over time. As much as I love an old fashioned photo album, there is something comforting to know that I can hop on to facebook and look at old baby pictures of her and reminisce about having a tiny nugget falling asleep on my chest...it even makes this pregnancy easier because I can look forward to all the sweet moments ahead with my son.

Josh also downloaded the Timehop app a while ago, and lots of people have jumped on the Timehop bandwagon. Internally I was resistant to the idea because I didn't want one more thing to look at on my phone, but it dawned on me how much I love seeing the old pictures and videos of Noelle that pop up each day for him. He will often show them to me and lots of the time I had forgotten the picture or video existed, but I feel so lucky to get to re-watch it!

So I caved this week and downloaded Timehop - pretty much specifically for the fact that I will have a new bundle of joy coming this year and I want to make sure that next year I can "oooo" and "awww" over how he has changed over the last year and grown up.  So I'm really planning ahead to look back. Weird but true.

There are plenty of annoyances that come with our extra technology, but being able to document Noelle's rousing rendition of the "ABC's" at the drop of a hat is pretty dang awesome.

26 Weeks and Flying

I know 26 weeks doesn't sound like I am about to have this baby to most people, but it sounds like it to me!!  In 2 weeks I have my glucose test and then I will start seeing the doctor every 2 weeks, which is stinking unbelievable to me.

Just for fun I thought I would do a bump comparison of Noelle around this time and baby brother...let's be honest - I was curious to see the difference myself!

Unfortunately I did the awesome work of not taking a 26 week picture the first time around...I did it every 4 weeks, so I have a 24 week picture and a 28 week picture.

So here I am at those two markers in 2012....

Noelle - 24 weeks

Noelle - 28 weeks

Ok, drumroll please....

26 weeks - Baby Brother

Everything seems just a bit rounder in the front with baby brother than it did with Noelle. I'm sure it has a lot to do with my abdominal muscles which have already been stretched once before so they don't have to do quite as much work. I feel very pregnant but don't look hugely pregnant which is a good thing. I can still totally wear my normal winter coat, which while out and about makes me look not pregnant at all. I'll try to take a 28 week picture for a true comparison in a couple weeks, but it is hard to remember to stop and take stock in a 2nd pregnancy!

I do feel like baby brother moves around alot more than Noelle did. Noelle had more big movements and kind of "rolled" around in there. Baby brother gets a bit more kicky and jerky in my opinion. I am curious to see if this will turn into bigger kicks that become painful as he grows. Noelle never gave me a kick or movement that actually hurt me, but I've seen plenty of my friends experience that kind of movement - and oddly enough most of them were pregnant with boys.

We are slowly trying to get the house ready for one more person to be present. We had a great master bedroom re-do which included a more organized closet and just a general "refreshment" of the room. Next in March my mom and dad will come up and get Noelle's big girl room ready and then there will officially be space for baby brother.  

I'm so excited to see him and meet him, and it is also slightly terrifying to imagine life with 2 kids! I am sure that within days to weeks we will forget what life was ever like without him - just like we did with Noelle.

Wish me luck on my glucose test...pray for a tasty flavor of the drink for me!!

Whoops...I got pregnant.

Unlike my title insinuates - we actually got pregnant on purpose...

But whoops...I stopped blogging because I got pregnant!

I just looked at when my last post was and what it was about and it was literally probably 3 days later that the pregnancy "hit" me. We actually found out the day before Josh's birthday in September and we were absolutely thrilled. It was such good news in the midst of lots of hard news we had in late August/early September.

Then I felt horrible. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't Princess Kate having to go to the hospital horrible, but WAY worse than I recall with Noelle. I was tired more than anything I remember with Noelle. I could barely get out of bed, and just wanted to sleep all day. On top of that the nausea was horrible. I didn't want to eat anything and of course we all know, the less you eat the worse you feel. All I did was try to think of something I wanted to eat and that process was horrible because you inevitably think of something and that food suddenly makes you feel nauseous.

After a few weeks of suffering I tried the vitamin B6 and Unisom combo I had read so much about on the internet, and it actually helped quite a bit. It definitely made food more appealing, but I still had my strong gag reflex (had it with Noelle too) that could make eating quite difficult. I definitely have thrown up way more with this kiddo - 2 to 3 times more than I did with Noelle. It hasn't been excessive but for me, throwing up is torture, so it's been rough.

Mostly I have been so exhausted that I have just been trying to get through this pregnancy as much as possible.

Then life got even more complicated! At the end of October, Josh and the rest of the staff at Quest was notified that we would need to make significant staffing cuts. After a 3 week process where people we know, love, and trust really sought God and tried to discern the best plan for our church, we were notified that Josh was being let go. We were not surprised and we were ready to head into the next season for our family.

From the end of November until today in late January, we have had such a healing and sweet time as a family. Josh and I have spent so much more time together and we have had so much family time with Noelle. Our relationships with each other have grown deeper and stronger and we are so grateful for the extra time we have had together.

Josh has started out as a freelancer for now and we feel this is the best plan for our family at the moment. We've seen lots of opportunities so far and have not had to go without so far...even though we are just now entering the end of our severance pay. I don't question that we will have everything we need, when we need it!

Ok enough with the life catch up. Most of you who might read this know all this any way because you see me - but for those of you far away, there are the brief details.

So, now I'm nearly 23 weeks in and haven't shared anything much about this pregnancy. So here are the answers to the standard questions that we pregnant folk tend to get pretty standardly :)

Are you excited it's a boy?
Absolutely! Though I am a bit bummed I don't get to use the magnificent cute mounds of girl clothing I have from Noelle, we are thrilled it's a boy. One of each is so awesome, and I am confident that Noelle is going to love her little brother. This will be a huge adventure to me, as I grew up in a house where my dad and the cat were the only boys! Pretty much by 12 weeks I was pretty convinced he was a boy, so I wasn't surprised when my "mother's intuition" was correct for the 2nd time :)

Any names yet?
We haven't decided on any names and are terrible at trying to figure it out this go round. We will tell when we know the full name - so feel free to make a suggestion and put in your two cents!!

Any cravings?
I always have the fleeting cravings at random, but mostly I am eating all the same stuff that I did with Noelle. Lots of fruits and lots of fresh veggies. I have noticed that I want meat a bit more than Noelle (especially red meat) and I have a very odd love of fruit roll ups.

Does Noelle understand?
Yes, and not totally. Thanks to my friend Rachel being 10 weeks ahead of me in her pregnancy, Noelle learned about a "baby in there" from Rachel's daughter Meaghan (who is 10). So she is excited that there is a "baby in there" and loves to mention it but she doesn't quite comprehend that it's a boy. She does call him "baby brother" right now, but we're not sure that means very much to her.

Are you doing a new nursery?
Nope - I went neutral with Noelle for this very purpose. I intend to use the same stuff and the same room for baby brother. Noelle is being upgraded to the "guest room" and they will have their own rooms.

When are you actually due?
The doctor is keeping it at May 28, 2015...though according to the first 2 ultrasounds it should be May 26, 2015. So I have decided to go in between those two dates, and tell people he is due on Noelle's birthday (May 27). We'll see if he is like his big sister and waits to come out late...hopefully not 10 days like her...or if he wants to be funny and come early. I just think May is a wonderful month to have a baby :)

Hopefully I'll get some more blogs in now that my energy levels are going back up. This next week we will be doing some home re-organization while my parents are in town as we prepare for an extra human living in our little home. The nesting has begun!!

The Next Level

If you follow me on instagram you probably have noticed the potty training posts. We started potty training the second week of September, and it hasn't been the easiest or the hardest thing in parenting. I would mostly describe it as annoying. Mostly annoying because I haven't felt like I can go about my life normally until she gets this one down pat.

I kind of went with a modified version of the 3 day potty training method. We had pants off and basically I watched her like a hawk the first two days to try and catch her going so that I could sit her on the potty. By day 3 we had some mild success but then our schedule got busy so we weren't quite as focused for 4 days. We started back up the following week and she was peeing and pooping like a champ at home. I will say I introduced candy rewards that day, and it really helped!

Then we were doing great at going potty at home with minimal accidents but we remained pants off.  I was doing pull ups out and about because they weren't short trips, and if she wasn't with me no one would have known to take her to the bathroom. You can't ask Noelle, "do you need to go potty?" - the answer will always be no right now. So I don't ask, I take her to sit on it and remind her that if she makes peepies then she gets candy. It works some of the time.

Then I noticed she seemed to HATE going to the bathroom outside of the home. She really really protested. If I had a pull up on her though she wouldn't go on the toilet and she would conveniently wait until I was driving to mention "potty" and by then it was too late...into the pull up it went. Sigh.

So I was telling my mom friends about the situation who have successfully potty trained one or more. They told me I have to rip the band aid off. No more pull ups while out and about. Time for the real deal, and if she makes a mess - well then I just have to have back up clothing. That is the only way she is going to get it. Yikes.

It was scary to me because I don't want to set her up to fail! And yet, for her to learn control, there has to be some failing (and some being upset about failing). It's a hard reality, and seriously very minor in the big scheme of things, but as parents we have to let our kids fail sometimes. It's the only way they will become who they were meant to be - we just have to love them through the whole process.

So we are doing it. And I will be doing more laundry possibly. But who knows - maybe by the end of October we will be done with most of the messes!! A mom can dream, right?

Next on the list is the crib to bed transition. That one doesn't scare me as much as the end of sleep time pacifiers. I keep thinking once THIS milestone is reached, then it will be super easy....oh wait - except there will always be another milestone. And I'm learning that mostly, parenting doesn't get easier...maybe after she's 18. We'll see :)