I have this really great habit of taking months off of writing anything on this blog and then I will have a moment where I just have to get something out of my head and heart.
These past two weeks has been one of those times.
As many of you know, Louie was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder in February of this year. But the whole process started almost 6 months ago back in November. I'm not going to go into that whole story and the journey we have been walking through, but as I have traveled through the process since then I have realized a few things.
Basically I had a hard time with spring break and navigating having both kids, one with special needs, and trying to engage and entertain them while also keeping up with laundry, feeding them, general household upkeep, and keeping my sanity. Noelle is pretty easy in general, but if she doesn't have the attention that any normal 5 year old needs, it can wear on her and it becomes more difficult. And then of course Louie needs my attention in ways that I have never experienced with Noelle, and his needs usually trump hers. Louie is only in school about 9 hours a week, but those hours are so helpful for me as a mom - to have a breather, to get household work done, and sometimes to just rest for a minute. It's fine when there is a school break - but the summer break looming ahead made me feel pretty exhausted and overwhelmed (and it's not even summer break yet!)
I was frustrated, scared, and probably feeling a little lonely in the anxiety of it. I actually love summer. I love pool time and playing outside. I like lazy mornings and doing fun things just because it is a care free time of year. But I also know that it's not quite as easy with Louie as it was with Noelle. It takes more effort and sometimes you think something is going to be so fun for everyone and you realize that it is actually a disaster and you need to pack up and leave whatever you had thought was going to be so much fun.
I'm getting off on a tangent here a bit...but what I am trying to say is that sometimes you just realize that it IS hard. That it's not just simple and predictable and that children on the spectrum are referred to as "special needs" kids because they have alot of needs that are particularly special. It requires more from those caring for them...duh, right?!
From the time that it was suggested Louie was on the spectrum to the day he was diagnosed was about 3 months. I spent so much energy trying to figure out for myself if he was or wasn't autistic. Oh the many many google searches I did.... but the day he was diagnosed, it was just like all that mental work to understand and see what was going on with him just clicked into place. It wasn't that I had to process what this meant for him or for us - it was just like, "OK. Well here is our reality so let's just move along now."
Don't get me wrong, I am constantly learning and reading and researching all kinds of things about this diagnosis. There is SO much out there. But I'm not trying to figure out why - I mean there are really talented scientists that have yet to figure out why any child happens to get this disorder, who am I to even attempt to figure out why Louie has it?
Most of the time I am doing really good. I'm learning how to help Louie, I'm learning how to work with him, and show him how to thrive in different environments. He was challenging before we knew what was going on and he is challenging now that we do know what is going on - but at least now we have help and we have resources to know how to move forward. But these past couple of weeks, I wasn't good. It was just hard.
Sometimes the future scares me. I may see a character on a show or movie that is portraying autism or I see a teenager coming into therapy the same time I am dropping Louie off. And then I want to know how long certain things will be a struggle for him, I want to know if he will have a hard time connecting with other people or to make friends. I wanted to know if he will be good at giving eye contact to new people he meets. I want to know if he will have behavioral issues we have to navigate, or if he might potentially be a harm to himself or to others someday. I want to know if he will always be obsessed with monster trucks. Heck, we are just two weeks out from his school evaluation, and I want to know if he will qualify for the special needs program, or if he will still be able to start kindergarten on time. I want to know if he will be able to have a job someday or a family and children of his own. But I can't know all those answers. And nobody can tell me. No doctor, no therapist, no scientist. The saying is, if you have met one child on the spectrum you have met one child on the spectrum. No two are the same. No path is guaranteed to go to the same end.
Sounds so...unknown...doesn't it?
News flash: All of life is unknown.
I don't know if Noelle will always love purple and pink. I don't know if her eyes are going to stay blue or if one day they will just look way more green (which is what happened to me as a kid). I don't know if she is going to be picked on in school or if she is going to be one of the girls who gets labeled popular and might have a tendency to make other kids feel excluded. I don't know if she will ever be brave enough to ride her bike without training wheels. I don't know if she will ever be ok with dipping her chicken nuggets in a sauce for crying out loud. The girl wants everything plain, lol. I don't know if she will want to go to her high school prom and I don't even know if she will want to go to college.
These might sound like lesser unknowns compared to Louie's. But the fact remains that they are unknowns. We never know where our journeys will take us. Nothing is guaranteed. It's easy to get caught up in "what ifs" but if we do that we miss the here and now.
We are finishing up Present Over Perfect by Shauna Niequist for our small group this spring. I've really enjoyed it and it's made me think about alot in my life. Many of the things she talks about I have already walked through and found freedom from. But she talks specifically about being present for the things in our life NOW. And so that is one thing that I am greatly trying to focus on.
I don't know alot about who Noelle will be, but I know that right now she loves desserts, art, pokemon cards, and dolls. And I want to celebrate that about her and enjoy the last month of her being 5.
I don't know if Louie will have a more specific diagnosis than ASD or what level he might have of it, but I know he loves to snuggle me and ask me "Hey mama, whatcha doin?" I know that he loves singing his ABC's on repeat and watching monster trucks do the same tricks over and over again. He loves swinging and jumping and bubbles and finding every possible puddle to jump in. He takes so long to fall asleep but is so angelic and snuggly once he finally drifts off. So I will remember to delight in my little boy being 2.
Fear can try to cut in on you and overwhelm you with what the future could hold, and I will be the first to admit that this journey of parenthood and autism has my knees shaking from time to time. But I can decide to reject the fear, enjoy life as it is right now, and choose to remember that God chose me to be mom to Noelle and Louie. He knew that I was the mother they needed and that I also needed these specific babies with all their wonderful different traits.
I know I won't remember this every second of every day, but I know that I can try.
Sunday, April 15, 2018
Thursday, May 4, 2017
The Elephant in the Room...
I so debated writing this post or even discussing it anywhere, but I decided the internet needs my two cents (lol). That is probably half of the problems with the world right now, everyone thinks the internet needs their two cents. But I digress...
So what is the elephant in the room? Direct Sales.
There. I said it.
I'd say 50-75% of you just got uncomfortable and may or may not even finish reading this post, and that's ok. For the remaining 25-50% who didn't get totally weirded out, well it's probably because you are also in direct sales (or know someone cool who is)!
To the majority folk who are weirded out, I am with you. I agree. There is a stigma with direct sales that I personally have felt (but obviously have gotten over), but the funny part is, I don't know why I felt that way in the first place. I have never had a horrible experience with a direct sales company. And yet that feeling was true for me and may still be true for you. As far as I can tell, yes there have been companies and salespeople that have given direct sales a bad name. But you can find the same for lawyers, doctors, realtors, small business owners, teachers, and the list will go on forever.
Right now in this moment, I have potentially dozens of friends in direct sales. I kid you not. And I am not referring to anyone I know from LimeLight. I'm talking legitimate friends that I have known for years, some over a decade. They include companies such as Young Living, DoTerra, Pampered Chef, Plexus, Jamberry, Beauty Counter, Mary Kay, Rodan and Fields, LulaRoe, Scentsy, Arbonne, BeachBody, Tupperware, Stella & Dot, Nerium, Noonday Collections, Thirty One, Younique, and I am pretty sure there are more I am forgetting.
These are all really cool people. And they are really nice too. You know what they all have in common? They found a product/system/item/what-have-you that they LOVED. Like really loved. They liked it so much they wanted to tell all their friends about it. And if they wanted to tell all their friends about it, well then they could sign up for a certain fee and not only tell people about it, but they could earn an income from it too! Sounds nice, doesn't it?
I really kinda stumbled into direct sales accidentally. I wanted a hobby and I also wanted safe and natural skin care that worked. I totally found LimeLight by accident and then became totally intrigued by their skin care line and the cosmetics. I had to try it. It absolutely didn't disappoint. I was thrilled! But I also thought, I could potentially be crazy and the only person in the world who actually loves this stuff. So I had a launch party with my family. They loved it too. Ok, so I'm realized I'm not crazy. Then my close friends tried different items. They also fell in love. Further proof that I am not psycho. All the while, I am having a BLAST talking about makeup and skincare, helping other women feel good about their skin and more confident in general, and I am making extra dollars for my family. A little hobby turned into something fun and rewarding!!
I think part of the problem with the negative direct sales stigma is that people are skeptical that you can make any money. Are you going to make huge dollars just selling and not forming a team? No probably not. However there is a LimeLight lady who sold over $25k of product in one month, so yeah, you can make total bank if you are a sales wizard. But by and large you make more when you form a team. You aren't just making money off of those people just because (another negative stigma). When you TRULY have a team, you lead them, coach them, and train them. It's like being paid to be a manager instead of a minimum wage worker. Simple as that. I have heard that some companies make you keep inventory so there is more of an upfront cost and it is harder to hit profit that way. So yes, it might be harder to earn in those companies. I find that most direct sales companies are not in that category anymore. Either way, I believe you can make extra income if you work hard and believe in the company you are selling for.
So what is the trick to figuring out if direct sales is something for you? Here's my take on it:
#1 - Do you love the products? If you don't, then pass. We don't have time to be phony in life. It will wear on you and it will show that you aren't sold on what you are selling.
#2 - Do you have people in your life (near or far) that you think would love the products like you do? If no - then most likely you should pass. This isn't always the case, but I find that searching for strangers to buy from you is no easy task. They don't appear out of nowhere, you have to actually get to know them before you sell anything to them 99% of the time.
#3 - Is the company trustworthy and is the compensation plan reasonable? If you want to make a certain amount to start every month, figure out what it would take to hit that goal. If that feels reasonable then it should be a good situation. If it feels far fetched it may not be a strong compensation plan that would fit your life.
That's about it. If you can figure out those three things, then it's certainly worth looking into. And just so you know, if you want to grow anything - like really grow it (whether that's a small business you start yourself or a direct sales business you join) you really have to be willing to be uncomfortable. You will be stretched. You will probably do things you thought you would never do. But guess what? You will want to do it because you believe in something and want to tell other people about it.
Here's direct sales to me:
I have a friend who sells oils because she wanted to get rid of toxic chemicals and instead she found a passion and loves educating people about their many uses and benefits. She's a rockstar and promoted recently (and she started just as a hobby, mind you). I buy oils/products from her on occasion and other times I just ask her questions about oils because she is a walking encyclopedia on them.
I have a friend who sells supplements and she feels better than she ever has and it helping friends and family members alike feel better too. She's felt cruddy for years and now is seeing improvement! I'm so intrigued by it that I am helping a beloved family member try the products to see if they could have some benefit from them too!
I have multiple friends who have joined BeachBody. One loves it but just uses it for her own benefit but doesn't try to build a team or anything. The other loves it and tells everyone about how much it has helped their lifestyle and she has a large team. I think the one who says nothing about it is awesome. I think the one who shouts it from the rooftops is awesome and I love seeing her positive and uplifting social media posts promoting good health!
I have an old friend who sells anti-aging products and not only has she changed her family's income (they struggled for years), but she also has a company provided car. I don't personally use her products but I support her from a distance by liking or commenting on posts from time to time because I know it means that Facebook will show her post to more people who might need to see more info about her products or company!
I have a friend that sells makeup and used her little side hustle to finish off some student loan debt. It didn't take ridiculous effort on her part because selling makeup online is super fun and not terribly time consuming, but at the same time she made a small dent in their debt snowball! That's a win!! I don't buy a ton of makeup from her because I love the makeup I sell, but she has ever had a product type that LimeLight doesn't make and I of course needed to try it! (#makeupjunkiesunite)
I have a friend who sells clothing that makes her feel pretty and she helps other ladies find items that make them feel pretty too. Plus she can stay home with her babies thanks to her little business. I love to buy clothes from her when it's in the budget for the month because I want to support my friend and the clothes make me feel pretty. Hard to do when you feel like you are covered in snot 50% of your days.
Listen, I'm not the first person to go on about this. But I might be the only person you take the time to stop and read when it comes to this topic. If you have more questions about it, trust me I have more thoughts on it so feel free to ask me. I know, hard to believe with how long this post is, huh? Feel free to reach out! You might need an unbiased opinion from someone who has done it before. That's actually what I did. I called my sister who had done some direct sales to see if she thought it was a good idea. And even though she didn't continue with the companies she started with, she could tell that it was a good option for me. So talk to someone you trust who has been in a similar spot!
Ok, I'll step off of my soap box for now. If you have made it this far I will now reward you with a cute picture of an elephant because we talked about the elephant in the room.
Bottom line - don't be afraid of the Elephant in the room. It's actually really nice and you don't need to feel weird around it.
So what is the elephant in the room? Direct Sales.
There. I said it.
I'd say 50-75% of you just got uncomfortable and may or may not even finish reading this post, and that's ok. For the remaining 25-50% who didn't get totally weirded out, well it's probably because you are also in direct sales (or know someone cool who is)!
To the majority folk who are weirded out, I am with you. I agree. There is a stigma with direct sales that I personally have felt (but obviously have gotten over), but the funny part is, I don't know why I felt that way in the first place. I have never had a horrible experience with a direct sales company. And yet that feeling was true for me and may still be true for you. As far as I can tell, yes there have been companies and salespeople that have given direct sales a bad name. But you can find the same for lawyers, doctors, realtors, small business owners, teachers, and the list will go on forever.
Right now in this moment, I have potentially dozens of friends in direct sales. I kid you not. And I am not referring to anyone I know from LimeLight. I'm talking legitimate friends that I have known for years, some over a decade. They include companies such as Young Living, DoTerra, Pampered Chef, Plexus, Jamberry, Beauty Counter, Mary Kay, Rodan and Fields, LulaRoe, Scentsy, Arbonne, BeachBody, Tupperware, Stella & Dot, Nerium, Noonday Collections, Thirty One, Younique, and I am pretty sure there are more I am forgetting.
These are all really cool people. And they are really nice too. You know what they all have in common? They found a product/system/item/what-have-you that they LOVED. Like really loved. They liked it so much they wanted to tell all their friends about it. And if they wanted to tell all their friends about it, well then they could sign up for a certain fee and not only tell people about it, but they could earn an income from it too! Sounds nice, doesn't it?
I really kinda stumbled into direct sales accidentally. I wanted a hobby and I also wanted safe and natural skin care that worked. I totally found LimeLight by accident and then became totally intrigued by their skin care line and the cosmetics. I had to try it. It absolutely didn't disappoint. I was thrilled! But I also thought, I could potentially be crazy and the only person in the world who actually loves this stuff. So I had a launch party with my family. They loved it too. Ok, so I'm realized I'm not crazy. Then my close friends tried different items. They also fell in love. Further proof that I am not psycho. All the while, I am having a BLAST talking about makeup and skincare, helping other women feel good about their skin and more confident in general, and I am making extra dollars for my family. A little hobby turned into something fun and rewarding!!
I think part of the problem with the negative direct sales stigma is that people are skeptical that you can make any money. Are you going to make huge dollars just selling and not forming a team? No probably not. However there is a LimeLight lady who sold over $25k of product in one month, so yeah, you can make total bank if you are a sales wizard. But by and large you make more when you form a team. You aren't just making money off of those people just because (another negative stigma). When you TRULY have a team, you lead them, coach them, and train them. It's like being paid to be a manager instead of a minimum wage worker. Simple as that. I have heard that some companies make you keep inventory so there is more of an upfront cost and it is harder to hit profit that way. So yes, it might be harder to earn in those companies. I find that most direct sales companies are not in that category anymore. Either way, I believe you can make extra income if you work hard and believe in the company you are selling for.
So what is the trick to figuring out if direct sales is something for you? Here's my take on it:
#1 - Do you love the products? If you don't, then pass. We don't have time to be phony in life. It will wear on you and it will show that you aren't sold on what you are selling.
#2 - Do you have people in your life (near or far) that you think would love the products like you do? If no - then most likely you should pass. This isn't always the case, but I find that searching for strangers to buy from you is no easy task. They don't appear out of nowhere, you have to actually get to know them before you sell anything to them 99% of the time.
#3 - Is the company trustworthy and is the compensation plan reasonable? If you want to make a certain amount to start every month, figure out what it would take to hit that goal. If that feels reasonable then it should be a good situation. If it feels far fetched it may not be a strong compensation plan that would fit your life.
That's about it. If you can figure out those three things, then it's certainly worth looking into. And just so you know, if you want to grow anything - like really grow it (whether that's a small business you start yourself or a direct sales business you join) you really have to be willing to be uncomfortable. You will be stretched. You will probably do things you thought you would never do. But guess what? You will want to do it because you believe in something and want to tell other people about it.
Here's direct sales to me:
I have a friend who sells oils because she wanted to get rid of toxic chemicals and instead she found a passion and loves educating people about their many uses and benefits. She's a rockstar and promoted recently (and she started just as a hobby, mind you). I buy oils/products from her on occasion and other times I just ask her questions about oils because she is a walking encyclopedia on them.
I have a friend who sells supplements and she feels better than she ever has and it helping friends and family members alike feel better too. She's felt cruddy for years and now is seeing improvement! I'm so intrigued by it that I am helping a beloved family member try the products to see if they could have some benefit from them too!
I have multiple friends who have joined BeachBody. One loves it but just uses it for her own benefit but doesn't try to build a team or anything. The other loves it and tells everyone about how much it has helped their lifestyle and she has a large team. I think the one who says nothing about it is awesome. I think the one who shouts it from the rooftops is awesome and I love seeing her positive and uplifting social media posts promoting good health!
I have an old friend who sells anti-aging products and not only has she changed her family's income (they struggled for years), but she also has a company provided car. I don't personally use her products but I support her from a distance by liking or commenting on posts from time to time because I know it means that Facebook will show her post to more people who might need to see more info about her products or company!
I have a friend that sells makeup and used her little side hustle to finish off some student loan debt. It didn't take ridiculous effort on her part because selling makeup online is super fun and not terribly time consuming, but at the same time she made a small dent in their debt snowball! That's a win!! I don't buy a ton of makeup from her because I love the makeup I sell, but she has ever had a product type that LimeLight doesn't make and I of course needed to try it! (#makeupjunkiesunite)
I have a friend who sells clothing that makes her feel pretty and she helps other ladies find items that make them feel pretty too. Plus she can stay home with her babies thanks to her little business. I love to buy clothes from her when it's in the budget for the month because I want to support my friend and the clothes make me feel pretty. Hard to do when you feel like you are covered in snot 50% of your days.
Listen, I'm not the first person to go on about this. But I might be the only person you take the time to stop and read when it comes to this topic. If you have more questions about it, trust me I have more thoughts on it so feel free to ask me. I know, hard to believe with how long this post is, huh? Feel free to reach out! You might need an unbiased opinion from someone who has done it before. That's actually what I did. I called my sister who had done some direct sales to see if she thought it was a good idea. And even though she didn't continue with the companies she started with, she could tell that it was a good option for me. So talk to someone you trust who has been in a similar spot!
Ok, I'll step off of my soap box for now. If you have made it this far I will now reward you with a cute picture of an elephant because we talked about the elephant in the room.
Bottom line - don't be afraid of the Elephant in the room. It's actually really nice and you don't need to feel weird around it.
Monday, April 24, 2017
An Eye Opening Moment...
How often do you forget where you have come from, what you have seen, who you used to be? I have an annoyingly good memory (usually, but mom-brain kicks in these days), so I feel like I am pretty good at remembering past experiences. But recently I had some sort of a wake up call. I'm sure you are tired of me mentioning the move and the transition (it's been about a year of the process now), but it is still front and center in my life - so just stinking bear with me.
There's so much transition that happens when you move to a different place. Life feels like it goes through different stages and you keep wondering when "normal" will become normal. News flash - still not there yet. But with each season and month it feels like maybe we are getting closer. At the same time it can feel so far away. I've been doing some reading and lots of thinking lately because quite honestly I have time to squeeze that in here and there with the kids around. I know, shocking. And that was when I realized something almost crazy to me...
I am living the life that I said I wanted 10+ years ago. I am living the life I dreamed of when I was just becoming an adult.
I'll just let that sink in for everyone for a minute. It took me a while to see it myself.
Granted, I didn't have huge dreams in life - I wanted a stay at home mom life where I could be there for my kids and take care of my family. Don't get me wrong, I believe that is an extremely noble and important undertaking. And for us that felt like a stretch back when Josh was in ministry - we didn't think we would ever be at a place financially where I could 100% not HAVE to work. But here we are. Here I am, the day in and day out of being Mama. The expectations of what needs to be done in a day are set by me. No boss to report to, no deadlines to meet. Just whatever I decide is important (besides keeping my family alive).
And you know what? It's hard. It's tiring. Sure it's fun! Oh my gosh I love these kids, even when they are driving me crazy with the crying and the questions every hot minute...but I don't think I had recently taken a moment to realize I reached where I had always dreamed of being.
So what's the next question then? The next question is: what is it that I want? I want a lot of random things, but what else do I want out of LIFE? I know, super huge question. I don't really have anything other than the answer I had 10 years ago. I want to be an awesome stay at home mom...but I also want a break now and then, I want to hang out with girlfriends and laugh and be silly, I want to have regular date nights with my husband, feel connected and rooted in the local church, I want to take a nice vacation every now and then, I want to read great books, eat awesome food, exercise regularly, invest in my family, make fun memories with my kids, visit cities I've never been to, grow my LimeLight business, write more blogs, discover new interests...the list goes on and on!
The fact of the matter is that even when you reach your "goal" you will still be looking for the next thing. I know that's a duh moment for everyone who will take the time to read this. We have all experienced this in some aspect of our lives, whether that is your career or your relationships or your weight-loss journey. But what do I intend to take away from this ah-ha moment? Well I'm going to actually appreciate it. I'm going to drink in all the wonderfulness that it is. I'm going to stop and smell the roses if you will.
Every day isn't sunshine and rainbows. We all know that. But I was not living each day with the GRATEFULNESS that I should have for getting to do what I have longed to do for so long.
I've decided I'm going to make the most of these days, because I can. Being a stay at home parent can become monotonous - but I'm not going to let it be that way if I can help it.
I don't know where you are at in terms of chasing your dreams or setting goals. I hope this little post helped in some way though - to help you see that when you get where you are going, remember to enjoy it (even though you will have already set your sights on the next thing). And if you aren't there yet, I hope you take a moment to appreciate where you already are - I guarantee it's further along than where you started and there are still milestones to celebrate.
Be grateful for the journey.
There's so much transition that happens when you move to a different place. Life feels like it goes through different stages and you keep wondering when "normal" will become normal. News flash - still not there yet. But with each season and month it feels like maybe we are getting closer. At the same time it can feel so far away. I've been doing some reading and lots of thinking lately because quite honestly I have time to squeeze that in here and there with the kids around. I know, shocking. And that was when I realized something almost crazy to me...
I am living the life that I said I wanted 10+ years ago. I am living the life I dreamed of when I was just becoming an adult.
I'll just let that sink in for everyone for a minute. It took me a while to see it myself.
Granted, I didn't have huge dreams in life - I wanted a stay at home mom life where I could be there for my kids and take care of my family. Don't get me wrong, I believe that is an extremely noble and important undertaking. And for us that felt like a stretch back when Josh was in ministry - we didn't think we would ever be at a place financially where I could 100% not HAVE to work. But here we are. Here I am, the day in and day out of being Mama. The expectations of what needs to be done in a day are set by me. No boss to report to, no deadlines to meet. Just whatever I decide is important (besides keeping my family alive).
And you know what? It's hard. It's tiring. Sure it's fun! Oh my gosh I love these kids, even when they are driving me crazy with the crying and the questions every hot minute...but I don't think I had recently taken a moment to realize I reached where I had always dreamed of being.
So what's the next question then? The next question is: what is it that I want? I want a lot of random things, but what else do I want out of LIFE? I know, super huge question. I don't really have anything other than the answer I had 10 years ago. I want to be an awesome stay at home mom...but I also want a break now and then, I want to hang out with girlfriends and laugh and be silly, I want to have regular date nights with my husband, feel connected and rooted in the local church, I want to take a nice vacation every now and then, I want to read great books, eat awesome food, exercise regularly, invest in my family, make fun memories with my kids, visit cities I've never been to, grow my LimeLight business, write more blogs, discover new interests...the list goes on and on!
The fact of the matter is that even when you reach your "goal" you will still be looking for the next thing. I know that's a duh moment for everyone who will take the time to read this. We have all experienced this in some aspect of our lives, whether that is your career or your relationships or your weight-loss journey. But what do I intend to take away from this ah-ha moment? Well I'm going to actually appreciate it. I'm going to drink in all the wonderfulness that it is. I'm going to stop and smell the roses if you will.
Every day isn't sunshine and rainbows. We all know that. But I was not living each day with the GRATEFULNESS that I should have for getting to do what I have longed to do for so long.
I've decided I'm going to make the most of these days, because I can. Being a stay at home parent can become monotonous - but I'm not going to let it be that way if I can help it.
I don't know where you are at in terms of chasing your dreams or setting goals. I hope this little post helped in some way though - to help you see that when you get where you are going, remember to enjoy it (even though you will have already set your sights on the next thing). And if you aren't there yet, I hope you take a moment to appreciate where you already are - I guarantee it's further along than where you started and there are still milestones to celebrate.
Be grateful for the journey.
Sunday, March 26, 2017
Be Who You Already Are - Book Review!
Whoops, and just like that I went over a month without a blog post!
This past month has been busy but we have had lots of fun.
Lots of people were interested in the book I posted on instagram/facebook a while back. It is called "You are Free, Be Who You Already Are." I purchased the book on a whim after I saw another author post about it. Honestly - the cover alone sucked me in. SO PRETTY! But the title spoke to me too. I have definitely been in a season of learning more and more how to be myself and feel so completely free in it. So I went on amazon and put in my pre-order.
This is the first book I have read by Rebekah Lyons and she is a good writer. It's a super easy read and I went through it very quickly, even though I wasn't reading it every day (ugh, life can get in the way of all the fun sometimes)
While I don't feel I had any huge or major revelations from this book it was a sweet confirmation of pages I have already been on in my heart. And I totally related to Rebekah. Through the book she talks some about her struggle with anxiety (been there, done that) and also her family transitions through several moves that they made (been there, currently doing that).
Here's just a few golden nuggets I got from her writings:
- She talks about some challenges she faced in one season of her life and she realized that those challenges led her "to adopt the belief that [her] faith grew best when life was difficult. Subconsciously, martydrom had become the foundation of [her] spiritual growth."
I have absolutely had that mindset in the past. And while I believe that God brings challenges into our life all the time to grow and shape us to become more like Christ, it doesn't mean that forced martyrdom is the only way to grow spiritually. We can make ourselves available to Jesus all the time, but that doesn't mean that His plan is always a path of some type of suffering in order to make us like Him. If we aren't careful we can take on unauthorized challenges and cause ourselves real harm instead of producing the growth we might crave.
- She also talked about learning to feel at home where you are, but the best part is the truth that "This is the beauty of our God. He is our home."
Yes, yes, and another yes. As our family continues to figure out our new "home" I need the constant reminder that because I have Jesus, I am always at home.
I think her chapter on grieving was one of my favorites. No one likes the idea of grieving. It's not fun, let's be honest. But there are super healthy ways to grieve loss, change, or just disappointment. Many times if we don't properly grieve we don't fully move on.
- She had an excellent point that "when we dull our pain, we dull our joy. When we numb or lows, we numb our highs."
Hello, Pot? This is the Kettle, just wanted to let you know that you are black. How many times have I curbed my excitement because I didn't want to feel the huge let down of disappointment? That is no way to go through life! We are more alive and more ourselves when we get excited about the things we love and we feel the pain of losing them or when plans just don't sort out as we hoped!
- She tied the importance of grieving altogether by reminding me, "Every time we express grief, we allow Jesus to absorb our pain. When we live out the freedom we have been given to grieve, Jesus takes our grief upon himself and replaces it with comfort. What a precious gift."
His comfort truly is a precious gift. If you can a remember a time when you maybe let yourself fall apart and experience God's comfort you will know that it is not a feeling you easily forget. It becomes an old friend you can turn to on the darkest and gloomiest of days, and sometimes even the happiest.
- Another beautiful little one liner gem she had, "Courage is meant to en-courage others."
What an awesome reminder. When any of us takes a courageous step it usually gives someone else the nudge to be brave. I love that! I have to remember that every time I feel fear knocking on my door! I'm always so much more brave when it isn't just about me, but how it might affect someone I know or love around me.
Those were just a few of my favorite little tidbits. She has lots of good stuff in there, no matter what season you are in. If you are interested in the book I definitely recommend giving it a read.
And just to add to all of that - in the last month or so I realized something very important. I pretty much know who I am and I'm not too shy to just be myself these days. Take me or leave me, it is what it is. I think starting to step into a new community and letting ourselves be known by some new people has made me realize more and more that I am pretty comfortable in my own skin.
There was a time and a place where that was not true. I struggled constantly wondering if I was good enough, wondering if people thought I was a fake, wondering if those around me would think that I wasn't all that and a bag of chips. If you have been through the same thing, you may know that the struggle was insecurity. That nasty ugly monster that lives inside your head.
Well I was talking to a near and dear friend of mine about how in the last year or so, it is like I just woke up one day and didn't have those thoughts anymore. I didn't care what others thought, because I loved being me. It was like insecurity just died. I had no questions about who I was or who God made me to be. I was marvelling at this phenomenon with her, and she shared a truth with me that I hadn't realized until she said it. I actually was never insecure. I was just in an insecure environment. The ground I was walking on wasn't sturdy - and its insecurity infected me. When freed from it, I was essentially finally free to be me.
Lots of you reading this will know much more what I am talking about when I say an insecure environment. If you know, then I hope you will take that truth and use it as needed in your own healing journey. If you have no idea what I am talking about but feel that you need to know more because you think it will unlock something for you, well then I'm not more than a phone call/text/email away.
I hope you all enjoyed this little random book review and personal insight post. I had fun mulling it all over in my heart for you :)
This past month has been busy but we have had lots of fun.
Lots of people were interested in the book I posted on instagram/facebook a while back. It is called "You are Free, Be Who You Already Are." I purchased the book on a whim after I saw another author post about it. Honestly - the cover alone sucked me in. SO PRETTY! But the title spoke to me too. I have definitely been in a season of learning more and more how to be myself and feel so completely free in it. So I went on amazon and put in my pre-order.
This is the first book I have read by Rebekah Lyons and she is a good writer. It's a super easy read and I went through it very quickly, even though I wasn't reading it every day (ugh, life can get in the way of all the fun sometimes)
While I don't feel I had any huge or major revelations from this book it was a sweet confirmation of pages I have already been on in my heart. And I totally related to Rebekah. Through the book she talks some about her struggle with anxiety (been there, done that) and also her family transitions through several moves that they made (been there, currently doing that).
Here's just a few golden nuggets I got from her writings:
- She talks about some challenges she faced in one season of her life and she realized that those challenges led her "to adopt the belief that [her] faith grew best when life was difficult. Subconsciously, martydrom had become the foundation of [her] spiritual growth."
I have absolutely had that mindset in the past. And while I believe that God brings challenges into our life all the time to grow and shape us to become more like Christ, it doesn't mean that forced martyrdom is the only way to grow spiritually. We can make ourselves available to Jesus all the time, but that doesn't mean that His plan is always a path of some type of suffering in order to make us like Him. If we aren't careful we can take on unauthorized challenges and cause ourselves real harm instead of producing the growth we might crave.
- She also talked about learning to feel at home where you are, but the best part is the truth that "This is the beauty of our God. He is our home."
Yes, yes, and another yes. As our family continues to figure out our new "home" I need the constant reminder that because I have Jesus, I am always at home.
I think her chapter on grieving was one of my favorites. No one likes the idea of grieving. It's not fun, let's be honest. But there are super healthy ways to grieve loss, change, or just disappointment. Many times if we don't properly grieve we don't fully move on.
- She had an excellent point that "when we dull our pain, we dull our joy. When we numb or lows, we numb our highs."
Hello, Pot? This is the Kettle, just wanted to let you know that you are black. How many times have I curbed my excitement because I didn't want to feel the huge let down of disappointment? That is no way to go through life! We are more alive and more ourselves when we get excited about the things we love and we feel the pain of losing them or when plans just don't sort out as we hoped!
- She tied the importance of grieving altogether by reminding me, "Every time we express grief, we allow Jesus to absorb our pain. When we live out the freedom we have been given to grieve, Jesus takes our grief upon himself and replaces it with comfort. What a precious gift."
His comfort truly is a precious gift. If you can a remember a time when you maybe let yourself fall apart and experience God's comfort you will know that it is not a feeling you easily forget. It becomes an old friend you can turn to on the darkest and gloomiest of days, and sometimes even the happiest.
- Another beautiful little one liner gem she had, "Courage is meant to en-courage others."
What an awesome reminder. When any of us takes a courageous step it usually gives someone else the nudge to be brave. I love that! I have to remember that every time I feel fear knocking on my door! I'm always so much more brave when it isn't just about me, but how it might affect someone I know or love around me.
Those were just a few of my favorite little tidbits. She has lots of good stuff in there, no matter what season you are in. If you are interested in the book I definitely recommend giving it a read.
And just to add to all of that - in the last month or so I realized something very important. I pretty much know who I am and I'm not too shy to just be myself these days. Take me or leave me, it is what it is. I think starting to step into a new community and letting ourselves be known by some new people has made me realize more and more that I am pretty comfortable in my own skin.
There was a time and a place where that was not true. I struggled constantly wondering if I was good enough, wondering if people thought I was a fake, wondering if those around me would think that I wasn't all that and a bag of chips. If you have been through the same thing, you may know that the struggle was insecurity. That nasty ugly monster that lives inside your head.
Well I was talking to a near and dear friend of mine about how in the last year or so, it is like I just woke up one day and didn't have those thoughts anymore. I didn't care what others thought, because I loved being me. It was like insecurity just died. I had no questions about who I was or who God made me to be. I was marvelling at this phenomenon with her, and she shared a truth with me that I hadn't realized until she said it. I actually was never insecure. I was just in an insecure environment. The ground I was walking on wasn't sturdy - and its insecurity infected me. When freed from it, I was essentially finally free to be me.
Lots of you reading this will know much more what I am talking about when I say an insecure environment. If you know, then I hope you will take that truth and use it as needed in your own healing journey. If you have no idea what I am talking about but feel that you need to know more because you think it will unlock something for you, well then I'm not more than a phone call/text/email away.
I hope you all enjoyed this little random book review and personal insight post. I had fun mulling it all over in my heart for you :)
Sunday, February 12, 2017
The Clean Eating Results
At the beginning of January after we returned from our holiday travels, we started on a clean eating journey to help discover what might be some triggers for Josh's annoying heart burn and I was just also very curious to see how eating better would change the way we felt.
We officially ended our initial phase of eating better on Super Bowl Sunday and I'm eager to share what we have discovered. Now, I wasn't 110% die hard sticking to any particular plan. It was vaguely whole 30 and kinda paleo, but not completely. For instance, hummus. I think hummus is good for you. But it is not whole 30 or paleo compliant. Also on whole 30 you are not supposed to create a dessert "substitute" - even if it is only made of nutritious and healthy things. But you know what, life is too short to not have healthy dessert alternatives. So yeah. We weren't perfect, but we did really well for ourselves.
Here's what we discovered so far:
(1) Josh misses bread the most. I miss sugar the most. So we found our emotional eating triggers, lol!
(2) Josh's heart burn was significantly reduced. So far we think the culprits are sugar, chocolate, and sadly for josh (because he loves it) peppermint. We don't think that tomatoes are a huge problem for him, nor do we think dairy or gluten is overly horrible for his heartburn.
(3) My energy levels have been amazing eating cleaner. I used to drag through the mornings and want an afternoon pick me up. I really have good energy levels all through the day, but I'm always ready for bed time, lol. Josh didn't feel a difference in the mornings but he said he noticed the most difference in how he felt during the afternoons. He just didn't feel that after lunch lull that you can experience sometimes.
(4) I lost about 7 pounds and josh lost about 12 pounds. That's all sugar and carbs. We didn't do any additional exercise during this time (I'm still figuring out what is our best work out plan for 2017). That's pretty good for just change in diet over the course of 4 weeks.
(5) Our taste buds have pretty much re-adjusted. It doesn't take much salt or flavor to really pack a powerful punch. I think one of the most shocking snacks I fell in love with was raw almonds. They are absolutely delicious. I like them better than roasted and salted almonds!! It's amazing how good simple food can taste when you cut out all the excess stuff.
(6) I um...well...I pooped less. I know, TMI. But it makes sense. If one is eating more stuff that can be used and less excess crap, well then there will be less excess crap, ya know?!
It's our goal to continue to eat cleanly but have one cheat day we allow ourselves. We also won't go nuts if we go to dinner at someone's house and everything isn't paleo/whole 30 menu wise. It's about balance for us, not being sticklers. That being said, since the flu hit our home this past week we have not at all stuck to it. However, we have also not eaten much of anything other than chicken soup and saltines, lol. So we will hopefully jump back on the bandwagon this week, as our stomachs are finally back up to the task of eating.
I greatly encourage anyone to look into trying out a diet like this just to see how your body does with it. I was always super skeptical when people said they felt better when they ate whole based foods. I thought - well I don't feel bad, so why even bother? And yes, I didn't feel bad - I didn't suffer from any ailments from the food I was eating, but I also didn't realize that I could feel even BETTER! And with two little people full of energy constantly needing to be attended to, I need every ounce of energy I can get!
We officially ended our initial phase of eating better on Super Bowl Sunday and I'm eager to share what we have discovered. Now, I wasn't 110% die hard sticking to any particular plan. It was vaguely whole 30 and kinda paleo, but not completely. For instance, hummus. I think hummus is good for you. But it is not whole 30 or paleo compliant. Also on whole 30 you are not supposed to create a dessert "substitute" - even if it is only made of nutritious and healthy things. But you know what, life is too short to not have healthy dessert alternatives. So yeah. We weren't perfect, but we did really well for ourselves.
Here's what we discovered so far:
(1) Josh misses bread the most. I miss sugar the most. So we found our emotional eating triggers, lol!
(2) Josh's heart burn was significantly reduced. So far we think the culprits are sugar, chocolate, and sadly for josh (because he loves it) peppermint. We don't think that tomatoes are a huge problem for him, nor do we think dairy or gluten is overly horrible for his heartburn.
(3) My energy levels have been amazing eating cleaner. I used to drag through the mornings and want an afternoon pick me up. I really have good energy levels all through the day, but I'm always ready for bed time, lol. Josh didn't feel a difference in the mornings but he said he noticed the most difference in how he felt during the afternoons. He just didn't feel that after lunch lull that you can experience sometimes.
(4) I lost about 7 pounds and josh lost about 12 pounds. That's all sugar and carbs. We didn't do any additional exercise during this time (I'm still figuring out what is our best work out plan for 2017). That's pretty good for just change in diet over the course of 4 weeks.
(5) Our taste buds have pretty much re-adjusted. It doesn't take much salt or flavor to really pack a powerful punch. I think one of the most shocking snacks I fell in love with was raw almonds. They are absolutely delicious. I like them better than roasted and salted almonds!! It's amazing how good simple food can taste when you cut out all the excess stuff.
(6) I um...well...I pooped less. I know, TMI. But it makes sense. If one is eating more stuff that can be used and less excess crap, well then there will be less excess crap, ya know?!
It's our goal to continue to eat cleanly but have one cheat day we allow ourselves. We also won't go nuts if we go to dinner at someone's house and everything isn't paleo/whole 30 menu wise. It's about balance for us, not being sticklers. That being said, since the flu hit our home this past week we have not at all stuck to it. However, we have also not eaten much of anything other than chicken soup and saltines, lol. So we will hopefully jump back on the bandwagon this week, as our stomachs are finally back up to the task of eating.
I greatly encourage anyone to look into trying out a diet like this just to see how your body does with it. I was always super skeptical when people said they felt better when they ate whole based foods. I thought - well I don't feel bad, so why even bother? And yes, I didn't feel bad - I didn't suffer from any ailments from the food I was eating, but I also didn't realize that I could feel even BETTER! And with two little people full of energy constantly needing to be attended to, I need every ounce of energy I can get!
Sunday, January 29, 2017
Decisions
Life is full of decisions.
Some are easy. Some are hard. Some you don't even notice you are making them... then others you will never ever forget.
It's not a special number or a milestone marker. But each year feels more special, more treasured in my heart.
It makes me stop and remember who I was, who I am, and who I hope to be. I pause and I am grateful for a God who pursues and loves us more than we can imagine. I am grateful for friends that are now far away but always close in heart that were brave enough to talk to be about Jesus and tell me how much He loved me.
So today marks the end of year 11 and the beginning of year 12. January 29th is the anniversary of the day I decided to follow Jesus. What a journey it has been. What an adventure is ahead!
But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? 15 And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!” - Romans 10:14-15 NLT
Some are easy. Some are hard. Some you don't even notice you are making them... then others you will never ever forget.
It's not a special number or a milestone marker. But each year feels more special, more treasured in my heart.
It makes me stop and remember who I was, who I am, and who I hope to be. I pause and I am grateful for a God who pursues and loves us more than we can imagine. I am grateful for friends that are now far away but always close in heart that were brave enough to talk to be about Jesus and tell me how much He loved me.
So today marks the end of year 11 and the beginning of year 12. January 29th is the anniversary of the day I decided to follow Jesus. What a journey it has been. What an adventure is ahead!
But how can they call on him to save them unless they believe in him? And how can they believe in him if they have never heard about him? And how can they hear about him unless someone tells them? 15 And how will anyone go and tell them without being sent? That is why the Scriptures say, “How beautiful are the feet of messengers who bring good news!” - Romans 10:14-15 NLT
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Change of Schedule
Here's what I learned after a week of getting ready almost immediately after waking up.
#1 - I was actually more productive. I totally got more accomplished this week than normal. I jump started my day and it served me well!
#2 - It made getting ready less stressful in general. Sometimes as a mom it is super challenging to get everyone ready to get out the door, myself included. Well my kids tend to be less troublesome in the process of getting ready if I do it shortly after they wake up (especially Louie). They will get easier to get up and out the door someday, but for this stage in life I noticed a big difference in the ease of getting them ready most days.
#3 - I felt like I had a more sound mind for the remainder of the day. It didn't hurt that I had extra time to stop and read my bible app too!
#4 - I made more awesome breakfasts. Funny, I know. But when you are already up and ready and you look at the clock and see how much time you have before you have to go anywhere or do anything...well your cooking gets inspired!
#5 - I was more intentional with Louie in the morning (Noelle was mostly at school except for Fridays). But morning time is kind of special Mama and Louie time. This age is challenging because he has such opinions and is easily frustrated because he can't clearly express them. If I am just ready to spend some focused time on him though, our mornings can be much more enjoyable for both of us.
#6 - It has helped Louie not be so needy for breastfeeding in the morning. And because I am already dressed, I am not as lazy/lenient as I normally could be. Louie has been my needy breast-feeder and I am ready to be done, but I can tell that he isn't quite there yet. So I'm trying to make small victories in hopes that by the time he is 2 he will be officially done (if not sooner).
So there you have it. If you are a stay at home mom and you want to try this I highly recommend it. I'm sure this will be super easy for me to keep doing once my kiddos are headed off to "real" school in the future. But I didn't realize how nice it would be for me to do when they are still so small. I'm only about 19 months into this full time stay at home mom gig, so I'm sorry it took me this long to learn it - but at least it finally sunk in!!
Bonus: I got to play with my makeup every day :) Photos below, although I didn't manage to snap one every day.
#1 - I was actually more productive. I totally got more accomplished this week than normal. I jump started my day and it served me well!
#2 - It made getting ready less stressful in general. Sometimes as a mom it is super challenging to get everyone ready to get out the door, myself included. Well my kids tend to be less troublesome in the process of getting ready if I do it shortly after they wake up (especially Louie). They will get easier to get up and out the door someday, but for this stage in life I noticed a big difference in the ease of getting them ready most days.
#3 - I felt like I had a more sound mind for the remainder of the day. It didn't hurt that I had extra time to stop and read my bible app too!
#4 - I made more awesome breakfasts. Funny, I know. But when you are already up and ready and you look at the clock and see how much time you have before you have to go anywhere or do anything...well your cooking gets inspired!
#5 - I was more intentional with Louie in the morning (Noelle was mostly at school except for Fridays). But morning time is kind of special Mama and Louie time. This age is challenging because he has such opinions and is easily frustrated because he can't clearly express them. If I am just ready to spend some focused time on him though, our mornings can be much more enjoyable for both of us.
#6 - It has helped Louie not be so needy for breastfeeding in the morning. And because I am already dressed, I am not as lazy/lenient as I normally could be. Louie has been my needy breast-feeder and I am ready to be done, but I can tell that he isn't quite there yet. So I'm trying to make small victories in hopes that by the time he is 2 he will be officially done (if not sooner).
So there you have it. If you are a stay at home mom and you want to try this I highly recommend it. I'm sure this will be super easy for me to keep doing once my kiddos are headed off to "real" school in the future. But I didn't realize how nice it would be for me to do when they are still so small. I'm only about 19 months into this full time stay at home mom gig, so I'm sorry it took me this long to learn it - but at least it finally sunk in!!
Bonus: I got to play with my makeup every day :) Photos below, although I didn't manage to snap one every day.
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